The Side Effects of Travel… Especially Free Travel

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Travel is a drug, there’s no doubt about it. Once you test it out, whether it be from a close friend, a trusted parent, or just peer pressure from a bank that convinced you to travel with their credit card, it’s easy to get addicted. Don’t feel bad admitting it. It happens, I know first hand.

The problem with this specific drug, is that no one mentions the side effects. It’s commonly touted as glamorous, exciting, and once-in-a-lifetime, but what always seems to be missing from your so-called “trusted” bloggers, friends, and family is the small, virtually unreadable text found under every drug – otherwise known as a warning label.

Fortunately, you have me to set the record straight and warn you of the dangers often caused by traveling… especially for free.

Warning…

Traveling on points may cause you to lose sight of money valuations.

Have you ever looked in a travel magazine and said, “$10,000 to vacation across the pond? Psh, I could do it with 80,000 points or less.” Or how about when a friend asks, “Is a $400 for a flight to Europe worth buying?” and you respond with, “I wouldn’t buy it. Instead, I’d use my thousands of pompous points.”

Warning…

Traveling may cause you to want need a bidet.

We’re looking at you Japan, Europe, and Australia! Do you three really think you can just tease US travelers with warm butts, weird flushing sounds, and oddly enjoyable water streams and not expect them to feel a yearning for a bidet when they get home?

Warning…

Traveling may make you sound stuck up.

Not that you necessarily are stuck up, but it sure seems like it during conversations like these:

Person A: “I want to go on an exotic vacation, but I haven’t decided where to yet.”

Person B: “How about Spain, France, or Italy? I hear those are fun countries to visit.”

You: “I’ve been to all three of those countries more than once! They’re all kind of ‘meh’ if you ask me. Instead, you should go to Japan. They have crazy KitKats and cat cafes there, which reminds me, if you go to ‘クレイジー猫女性カフェ’ on ‘猫ストリート’ street and mention my name, they’ll give you a discount of 5 yen. I’m pretty well known there.”

Person A: “Uhh, yeah. *Thanks…”

*sarcasm

Warning…

Traveling in business or first class, may cause you to never travel in coach again.

As the saying goes, “Once you fly in front, you’re no longer a grunt.” err, maybe it was, “Once you fly in front, you’re now a huge cu–.” Who knows. All that matters is that once you sit in a quality business or first class product, it’s a tough transition back into coach.

Warning…

Traveling may cause you to start planning your next vacation while still on vacation.

It’s a slippery slope.

Warning…

Traveling may cause you to spend more money than you originally planned on.

Have you every been on vacation and said something similar to, “We’re on vacation right? Why not splurge a little?”

If you know of any side effect travel can cause that isn’t listed above, please contact us below, so we can update the masses!

I am not a doctor, lawyer, drug manufacturer, travel agent, stripper, fireman, car maker, gas station pump attendant, or cashier and I definitely do not play one on TV. None of these warnings are guaranteed side effects of taking the drug known as “traveling.” They are just possible side effects that have been known to appear in travelers. Be safe out there folks!

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